Earlier this week Microsoft released the launch prices for the Xbox Series S and Xbox Series X. The former will be $299, the latter starts at $499. Great! At least one console iteration won’t murder your wallet and dump it in the river! That’s something to celebrate right now!
But that’s not all Microsoft announced. Along with the launch date (November 10), the manufacturer also confirmed that they’d be offering payment plans to go along with the consoles. You know, in case you can’t afford the sticker price in the middle of a virus and economic depression and social unrest and climate change nightmare.
It’ll be $24.99 a month for 24 months to have an Xbox Series S, and $10 more expensive to get your hands on a Series X. Both plans also come with Game Pass Ultimate, which my sources are telling me will also include EA Play soon so, what a steal!*
*To be clear, you’re going to pay $600 for your Xbox Series S ($299) over a period of two years, and $840 for the Series X ($499). Cool Scheme! Has anyone mentioned what will happen if you miss a payment?
“But you’re getting Game Pass Ultimate! And it includes EA Play! That’s a steal!” You say. “Stop complaining!” Yeah okay first of all, Game Pass is the added value here, it’s not what you’re signing the contract for. In a sense, you’re “subscribing” to the console, or “leasing to own.” If I cancel Game Pass right now on my Xbox One, I lose a few games. Hell, I lose those games anyway if the original digital rights holders decide not to re-up their contract with Microsoft to host their game on the Game Pass storefront. We frame this currently as a constantly shifting migration of games, where titles idly pass us by and we pick and choose what we want to play (or let languish in our libraries until we delete them to make room for other stuff we don’t end up playing). The constant is the console. What happens if you cancel your 24-month contract?
Look, I’m not saying anyone’s going to wake up with a fucking rent-a-center repo man at their house to take their Xbox away after a late payment, but what you will likely see is some kind of soft-locking, and you will likely have to return the machine – in perfect condition – if you cancel your contract, or you will probably have to pay what’s left on what you owe of the contract, not the device itself. This happens with digital services and other peripheral tech all the time, especially cell phone, tablet and smartwatch contracts. Didn’t pay? Don’t get to play, period. And yes, this will likely include trying to play games that aren’t on Game Pass.
“Oh well I’ll just play offline.”
Will you tho? Not if the console requires an always-on internet connection to function, especially since the Series S is a disc-free console.
“W-well, this isn’t a problem. I’ll pay this every month, and on time!” Okay cool, here’s Microsoft’s next trick: new console will come out in 24 months or thereabouts. It will be an incremental update in both specs and price. The payment plan for both the budget and premium devices will increase by between $10 and $20 per month because that’s how this works. Look at rising costs of phones over the last ten years. And you will get this product. Because you don’t want to be left out of the zeitgeist. Again, that’s just how this works.
If you drop a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will of course frantically try to clamber out. But if you place it gently in a pot of tepid water and turn the heat on low, it will float there quite placidly. As the water gradually heats up, the frog will sink into a tranquil stupor, exactly like one of us in a hot bath, and before long, with a smile on its face, it will unresistingly allow itself to be boiled to death.
Look, I don’t want to be a stick in the mud here, but it’s absolutely wild to me that this is the whole “console war” game plan this year. A $299 console seems just fine to me – but under no circumstances would I recommend getting it on a payment plan.
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